Paul Krugman, Nobel Prize-winning economist, warned that Donald Trump's victory over Kamala Harris could trigger "economic chaos."
In particular, Trump's election severely shocked the legal industry as hundreds of Lawfare attorneys lost their jobs. Speaking anonymously because of the topic's sensitivity, one economist estimates that Lawfare generated a substantial percentage of the nation's GNP last year because thousands of Ivy League attorneys were suing or prosecuting Donald Trump.
"Donald Trump's election throws all those lawyers out of work," the economist apprised. "Also, high-end restaurants in New York and Washington DC will likely lose a quarter of their business."
Jack Smith, who was prosecuting Trump in the District of Columbia, will probably quit before Trump fires him. The House Judiciary Committee accused Alvin Bragg of violating Trump's constitutional rights. Marc Elias, an expert in political campaign law, is reportedly devastated by the election outcome. Friends say Elias may be forced to euthanize Bode, his Portuguese Water Dog because Elias can no longer afford to feed his beloved pet.
Fortunately, Trump appointed me to his Executive Transition Team and charged me with designing a plan to minimize the economic disruption to the Lawfare industry. Here's my proposal.
Early next year, the federal government will create a new law school in Alaska, the only state without one. The new school will be located on the lovely Aleutian island of Adak, about 4500 miles from the nation's capital.
Out-of-work Lawfare lawyers will find the Adak climate agreeable. The island seldom experiences freezing weather, and summer temperatures range as high as 51 degrees Fahrenheit in August.
In addition, Adak has a good transportation infrastructure. It offers once-a-week air service to the nearby island of Shemya and connecting flights to Vladivostok.
I will offer all unemployed Lawfare attorneys a tenured professor's position at the Adak School of Law. I've already contacted Jack Smith and offered him the Dean's position. I'm hoping Letitia James will agree to be the Vice President for Diversity, Equity and Bullshit Litigation.
Under my proposed plan, I'll advise Trump to grant amnesty to every Lawfare lawyer who agrees to join the faculty at the Adak Law School. As for the attorneys who refuse, I think Trump should report them to the various bar associations for abusing the justice system to further political agendas.
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| The proposed site for Adak Law School |
