Long Live the Gingerbread People!

 Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that Trader Joe's grocery stores sell all kinds of delectable snack foods. 

Yesterday, I returned from Trader Joe's with a box of gingerbread cookies. The box's cellophane window revealed traditional little gingerbread figures—just like the gingerbread men I devoured as a kid.

As I tore into the contents, I was pleased to see that the box was labeled "Mini Gingerbread People," not "Mini Gingerbread Men." That's good, I thought to myself. Trader Joe's is woke and fully invested in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion.

However, as I bit into my first cookie,  I was horrified to see that all the little gingerbread figures were covered with white icing. I could discern no Latinex gingerbread people, no BIPOC people, no cookies that represented the LGBTQX community.

Indeed, as I spread the confections on a plate, I realized I was looking at a pile of cleverly disguised cis-gendered, white Christian nationalist cookie men. I spat out this despicable little symbol of racism, sexism, and homophobia. I immediately took my box of gingerbread people back to my local Trader Joe's store and demanded a full refund.

Not surprisingly, the store manager profusely apologized and assured me that all boxes of gingerbread people were being recalled nationwide and would be off Trader Joe's shelves by sundown.

Whew! That was close. Now, I can devote all my time to persuading the municipal road maintenance department to change the name of manholes to person holes, maintenance holes, or inspection chambers.

Racism, misogyny, and homophobia have contaminated America's food supplies.

President Biden pardons Hunter. What about Jill?

 The legacy media, in a frenzy of mendacity and hypocrisy, claims to be disappointed by President Biden's pardon of his son Hunter. After all, old Joe said repeatedly that he wouldn't give his wayward child a get-out-jail-free card.

"We haven't seen a pardon this sweeping as Hunter Biden's in generations," Politico said in a breathless headline. Moreover, Politico pointed out, "The starting date of Jan. 1, 2014, in the Biden pardon was surely not chosen randomly." 

Indeed, the date was undoubtedly chosen to cover Hunter's time on the board of Burisma Holdings. Burisma, you may recall, is the Ukrainian gas company that lavishly paid Hunter while his dad was Vice President.

A New York Times story, in a touching display of naivety, reported that Joe Biden changed his mind about pardoning his crack-sniffing offspring based partly on the fear that President Trump would wreak vengeance on his beloved son. The Times journalists overlooked the far more plausible explanation for Joe Biden's flip-flop-- that our gasbag president was simply lying. 

Other outlets worried that the Hunter pardon would tarnish Joe's presidential legacy, which is laughable. What legacy? 

Joe was cognitively diminished the day he took office. His extravagant spending triggered rampant inflation. His bumbling machinations in Ukraine damn near started a nuclear war with Russia, and his administration's retreat from Afghanistan was a disaster. 

Joe Biden's legacy is simply this: He was a demented grifter who significantly reduced our nation's standing as the leader of the Free World. I'm sure the curators at the Biden Presidential Library will explain all this with instructive dioramas and pre-recorded lectures.

I predict that Joe Biden isn't through issuing pardons. Several friends and family members have been credibly accused of participating in an influence-peddling and money-laundering scheme. Surely, he will pardon Dr. Jill and his brother James.

When Biden issues more pardons to his cronies, his media fans will be further dismayed.  However, the legacy media will melt down into apoplectic rage when President Trump pardons all the January 6th protesters, which Trump has promised to do. 

That day is coming. When those pardons are issued, I'll enjoy reading what the New York Times, the Washington Post, and Politico will say about Trump's merciful gesture--not to mention the wizened sages on The View.

The Times is shocked, shocked, about the Hunter pardon.
Photo credit: Judicial Watch and Politico

Moving the Nation's Capital Out of the District of Columbia. An Idea Whose Time Has Come?

People's Republic, Kurt Schlichter's post-apocalyptic novel, posits a breakdown of the American Republic as the Blue States collapse under the weight of woke politics and break off into a separate country.

 Schlichter labels the new nation-state the People's Republic of North America, which he envisions as being georaphically divided. The western segment is comprised of California, Oregon, and Washington. The eastern portion encompasses the East Coast states stretching from Maine to northern Virginia and the Rust Belt states of the upper Midwest.

Sandwiched between these breakaway regions, the old United States of America is now reduced to the Southern states, the Plains states, and the Rocky Mountains West. The new capital city is Dallas.

I thought about Schlichter's novel as I pondered President Trump's proposal to close the FBI headquarters in Washington, D.C., and move the agents out into the real world, where they could revive the FBI's original mission of arresting the bad guys.

Why the hell not? It makes sense to separate our nation's premier law enforcement agency from the bureaucratic morass in the District of Columbia, where the FBI morphed itself from a crime-fighting agency into stormtroopers for the Democratic Party.

Nevertheless, the FBI will need a new headquarters. I suggest Dallas as the location of the new FBI central office. 

Dallas is a sober, common-sense city where citizens are discouraged from defecating on the sidewalks. Unlike Minneapolis, where disgruntled dwellers are free to burn the town down, or Los Angeles, where shoplifting has become a competitive sport with varsity and JV divisions, most Dallasites obey the law. Doesn't it make sense for the FBI headquarters to be in a law-abiding town?

Indeed, Trump should pursue a broader vision than simply relocating the FBI. Why not move the entire capital from the District of Columbia to a new location as yet unsullied by corruption, incompetence, and venality? 

Let's move all the federal bureaucrats to a new capital in Dallas, Omaha, Pocatello, Bakersfield, or perhaps Fargo, North Dakota. 

Such a move would force our bigoted and provincial coastal elites to stop referring to America's Heartland as Flyover Country. More importantly, it would give the denizens of the Deep State an opportunity to fumigate the pesthole on the Potomac where our nation's capital now resides.

Land Mines, Cluster Bombs, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree. All I Want For Christmas is No World War III

Insanity, a sage once said,  "is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result."

Under that definition, President Biden's Ukraine war strategy is insane. This war has dragged on for almost three years, and the carnage only intensifies.

 Ukrainian president Zelensky periodically asks Biden for more sophisticated weapons; Biden hesitates briefly and then gives Zelensky whatever the little guy wants.

Biden has become a short-order cook for the Ukrainians. Abrams tanks, F-16s, cluster bombs, long-range missiles, and land mines: "Coming right up!"

Biden apparently believes that Russian casualties will eventually force Russian President Vladimir Putin to sue for peace. Indeed, the pile of dead and wounded grows bigger by the day. 

Nevertheless, American weapons and technology haven't hastened an end to the war. In fact, the scope of the war is expanding. North Korean troops are fighting alongside the Russians in the Kursk region. China buys Russian oil to finance Putin's war and may have committed acts of sabotage on behalf of Russia in the Baltic Sea. Iran supplies Russia with drones. 

America and Great Britain have given Zelensky everything he asks for, including permission to fire US and British-made long-range missiles into Russia. President Biden will soon be sending ant-personnel mines to the Zelensky regime--an additional escalation.

In short, the US and its allies are doing the same thing over and over by supplying Ukraine with evermore lethal weaponry, and they keep getting the same result--an increasingly aggressive Russian assault. 

Jamie Dimon, Chase CEO, is correct: World War III has already started. President Trump has promised to bring the Ukraine war to a swift conclusion. Let's hope and pray that Biden doesn't drag our nation into a global nuclear conflict before Trump is sworn into office.

How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb.

Will Biden start World War Three? Or Has It Already Begun?

To be fair, Oprah Winfrey warned us. If Kamala Harris loses the presidential election, she said, "it is entirely possible that we will not have the opportunity to ever cast a ballot again."

Like millions of Americans, I misinterpreted Oprah's dire prediction. I thought she was saying that if Trump is elected President, he will destroy American democracy.

Now, I think Oprah may have been warning us that if the Democrats lose to Trump, President Biden will start World War III.

That certainly looks like what Biden is trying to do by unleashing the Ukrainians to fire American-made long-range missiles into Russia. President Vladimir Putin has repeatedly warned that he might launch a nuclear response if Ukraine attacks the Russian Motherland with US or NATO missiles.

Indeed, Jamie Dimon, CEO of Chase Bank, said last month that "World War III has already begun."

Dimon pointed out that we "already have battles on the ground being coordinated in multiple countries." The North Koreans have joined Russia in fighting Ukraine, and Iran is making drones for the Russians. It seems increasingly likely that Belarus will get sucked into the maelstrom of global war.

What the hell are we doing? Why isn't Vice President Kamala Harris invoking the 25th Amendment to wrest control of the government from Biden, who is in severe cognitive decline? Why hasn't Congress begun impeachment proceedings to stop Biden from escalating the Ukrainian conflict?

It's time to take old Joe's car keys and return him to Delaware. And let's find out who in our government goaded Biden into stupidly escalating this senseless war. Those individuals need to be sent back to Martha's Vineyard.

World War III may be coming to your neighborhood
Photo credit: NY Times

Biden Okays Long-Range Missile Strikes Into Russia. It's Time to Invoke the 25th Amendment

 Russia's war with Ukraine has slogged along for more than a thousand days--longer than the Nazi siege of Leningrad during World War II.  Russia suffered approximately 1.5 million casualties during the Leningrad battle, including about a million people who died of starvation. 

How many people have died so far in the Ukraine war? No one can say for sure because everyone is lying, but a fair estimate is one million dead or wounded. In addition,  the war has displaced about one-third of Ukraine's civilian population.

This is Joe Biden's war; he has sent enough weapons and ammunition to keep it crackling merrily for nearly three years. Ukraine's President Zelensky—the little guy who wears pajamas when he speaks before Congress—claims his country can defeat the Russians if the U.S. supplies it with high-tech weapons, and Biden has obliged.

So far, our government has given Zelensky Abrams tanks, Bradley Fighting Vehicles, cluster bombs, Uranium-tip missiles, Javelin missile systems, and F-16 fighter jets. 

Yet the Russians keep pushing, and North Korea recently joined the fight.

 Everyone knows the Ukrainians can't defeat Russia and that peace can only be achieved through territorial concessions. Does anyone believe the Zelensky regime will reclaim Crimea or the Donbas?

Now Biden's demented days are numbered. Donald Trump will take office in January, and he has promised to bring the Ukraine war to an end. 

So, what does Biden do during the waning days of his administration? He gives Ukraine permission to strike Russia with US-made long-range missiles. 

Vladimir Putin has warned that this escalation could trigger a nuclear war, but apparently, no one in the Biden administration believes him.

In my view, Biden's decision to allow Ukraine to launch long-range American missiles into Russia is insane. The doddering fool only has about 60 more days in office. That's plenty of time to impeach him or invoke the 25th Amendment.

Photo credit: The Economist

Unemployed Lawfaw Attorneys To Staff New Alaska Law School. Letitia James to be VP for DEI?

Paul Krugman, Nobel Prize-winning economist, warned that Donald Trump's victory over Kamala Harris could trigger "economic chaos."

In particular, Trump's election severely shocked the legal industry as hundreds of Lawfare attorneys lost their jobs. Speaking anonymously because of the topic's sensitivity,  one economist estimates that Lawfare generated a substantial percentage of the nation's GNP last year because thousands of Ivy League attorneys were suing or prosecuting Donald Trump.

 "Donald Trump's election throws all those lawyers out of work," the economist apprised. "Also, high-end restaurants in New York and Washington DC will likely lose a quarter of their business."

 Jack Smith, who was prosecuting Trump in the District of Columbia, will probably quit before Trump fires him. The House Judiciary Committee accused Alvin Bragg of violating Trump's constitutional rights. Marc Elias, an expert in political campaign law, is reportedly devastated by the election outcome. Friends say Elias may be forced to euthanize Bode, his Portuguese Water Dog because Elias can no longer afford to feed his beloved pet.

Fortunately, Trump appointed me to his Executive Transition Team and charged me with designing a plan to minimize the economic disruption to the Lawfare industry. Here's my proposal.

Early next year, the federal government will create a new law school in Alaska, the only state without one. The new school will be located on the lovely Aleutian island of Adak, about 4500 miles from the nation's capital.

Out-of-work Lawfare lawyers will find the Adak climate agreeable.  The island seldom experiences freezing weather, and summer temperatures range as high as 51 degrees Fahrenheit in August.

In addition, Adak has a good transportation infrastructure. It offers once-a-week air service to the nearby island of Shemya and connecting flights to Vladivostok.

I will offer all unemployed Lawfare attorneys a tenured professor's position at the Adak School of Law. I've already contacted Jack Smith and offered him the Dean's position. I'm hoping Letitia James will agree to be the Vice President for Diversity, Equity and Bullshit Litigation. 

Under my proposed plan, I'll advise Trump to grant amnesty to every Lawfare lawyer who agrees to join the faculty at the Adak Law School. As for the attorneys who refuse, I think Trump should report them to the various bar associations for abusing the justice system to further political agendas.

The proposed site for  Adak Law School