Secret Service Director Kimberley Cheatle should be fired ASAP

A 20-year-old kid tried to kill Former President Trump last week and damned near succeeded. A bullet pierced Trump’s right ear. Had it traveled two inches to the left, Mr. Trump would have been a murder victim.

Shortly after the assassination attempt, Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle sent a memo to her agents, praising their work and urging them not to be distracted “by those who were not there and yet still pass judgment.”

What a churlish thing to write. Basically, Ms. Cheatle labeled any critic of the Secret Service for the way it handled the assassination attempt as a Monday morning quarterback.

Later, Cheatle admitted some "failures" in the security arrangements at the Trump rally. Nevertheless, she refused to assign blame or resign from her post.

In fact, the Secret Service’s security arrangements for President Trump were shockingly inadequate. Several commentators have pointed out that Trump's security team should never have allowed a man with a rifle to crawl up on the roof of a building and shoot at the President from a distance of only 140 yards.

I live in Mississippi, where young people begin hunting deer at the age of 12. Anyone who is moderately proficient with a deer rifle will tell you that a standing target only 140 yards away is an easy shot—a can’t-miss shot--especially if the shooter is aided by a rangefinder to help calculate a bullet's trajectory.

I can think of only two explanations for the Secret Service’s failure to secure the building from which the would-be assassin fired his rifle. The agent in charge may have been incompetent. Alternatively, the Secret Service agents may have been indifferent to Trump's safety.

After all, Ms. Cheetle was appointed by President Biden. Perhaps she didn’t think it was important to protect President Trump. If so, Cheatle's attitude toward Trump may have infected her agents.

Regardless of whether the assassination attempt in Butler, Pennsylvania, can be explained by incompetence or malice, the people responsible should be fired. Kimberly Cheatle should surrender her office keys and be escorted out of the building carrying a cardboard box containing her personal effects.

No one should feel sorry for Kimberly Cheatle. She has a sociology degree from Eastern Illinois University, which should make her eminently employable. Perhaps she can get her old job back guarding potato chips at Pepsico. I'm sure Jill Biden will write a strong letter of recommendation.

Barney Fife: Don't put him on a sloped roof.

The Fat Lady has sung but Biden won't drop out of the presidential race until he pardons his family

The Fat Lady has sung. Biden will not be on the Democratic presidential ticket in November. George Clooney, Hollywood's operatic Fat Lady, wrote a New York Times essay declaring that the Democrats need a new candidate. Biden can say bye-bye to any more mega donations from the entertainment industry.

When will the tottering geezer toddle off the stage to spend his last golden years at Reheymouh Beach?

It's a certainty that Biden won't step down before his term ends. Although he vows he won't pardon his son Hunter (convicted of federal gun violations), I think Joe will pardon him, along with other family members and a large cast of friends who were allegedly involved in an influence-peddling scam. 

When he issues those pardons, Biden will be implicitly admitting that he was part of an illegal scheme to squeeze money out of foreign governments or their proxies. The American public will be outraged at the Democrats, so Biden can't release those pardons until after the November election.

Nor will Biden release his delegates anytime soon. Per his handlers' instructions, he won't withdraw from the presidential race until it is too late for the Democrats to substitute any candidate except Kamala Harris.

The Democrats have carefully organized this King Lear drama, and all the essential characters are sticking to the script. I suspect Joe and Jill are in on the gag and playing along until Joe can issue a pile of pardons. 

Spoiler alert. When this histrionic psychodrama is over, and Americans stumble out of the movie theater into the blinding sunlight, they will discover they have a new president--Kamala Harris.

George Clooney stars as the Singing Fat Lady.

Joe Biden should pardon Rachel Maddow on humanitarian grounds

You can take it to the bank. Joe Biden will drop out of the 2024 presidential race. The New York Times editorial calling for Joe to step aside was the death knell for his reelection campaign, and everybody knows it.

Why doesn't Joe withdraw his candidacy to preserve his dignity and enjoy his golden years eating ice cream and clam strips at Rehoboth Beach? 

I'll tell you why. Family and friends in the Biden bunker fear what will happen to them if Dr. Dementus gets hold of the Justice Department. Trump might launch criminal investigations against the Lawfare crowd and Joe's relatives--the ones who reportedly have offshore banking accounts. Therefore, some of Biden's closest family members and advisers are urging him to hang on.

I think Biden's confidants would drop their efforts to keep Biden in the White House if Joe would issue blanket pardons to everybody who was complicit in Russiagate, the Hunter Laptop scandal, and the alleged Biden influence-peddling scam.

Obviously, Joe needs to pardon family members first. Jill, Hunter, Joe's children, and grandchildren should receive blanket pardons whether or not they did anything unlawful.

Then there are the lawyers who set up the Biden family's alleged money laundering scheme. They will want pardons. And Joe should pardon all those lawfare attorneys—Fani Willis, Alvin Bragg, Jack Smith, and others. 

On humanitarian grounds, Biden should also pardon all the people who are hysterical about the possibility of Trump becoming president again. They fear mass deportations, detention camps, paramilitary groups, death squads, and draconian restrictions on abortion.

Therefore, Biden should issue sweeping pardons to all of Trump's most vicious critics, including the ladies on "The View" and all the MSNBC commentators. I don't think any of these people did anything illegal. Still, a Biden Get-Out-Of-Jail card would ease their anxieties about possibly being sent to a concentration camp in rural Arkansas where they might be forced to pluck chickens.

Some of Trump's most paranoid fault finders may fear that a Biden pardon letter might get lost or misplaced when they need it most. For example, an MSNBC reporter might get arrested while her pardon letter was being laminated at Kinko's.

To alleviate this fear, Biden should offer to tattoo his pardon letter on the recipients' butts. 

Rachel Maddow is excessively worried about what might happen to her if Trump regains the White House. However, even Rachel would probably sleep better at night if she had a sweeping and all-encompassing presidential pardon tattooed for posterity on her rump.

What can Biden do to ease Rachel's anxiety about Donald Trump?

Kamala Harris is the real-world Furiosa after Immortan Joe's bad night

 Let me begin by admitting that I had a bad night. I had a cold that I might have taken Nyquil for, and I was suffering from prolonged jet lag from a trip to Florida a couple of years ago when I crossed into the Eastern Time Zone.

I have always enjoyed dystopian stories, so I settled into my Lazy Boy recliner and rented Furiosa to watch on my home TV. It only cost $25.

Furiosa is two and one-half hours long, but it seemed interminable. I got confused and lost the plot line. The movie is a story about a bewildering cast of people obsessed with the lust for power and a thirst for revenge. There was an old white guy named Immortan Joe, who appeared to be hooked up to an oxygen machine, and a young woman named Furiosa, who seemed to be attracted to chaos and never said anything coherent.  Furiosa may or may not have been a woman of color. Furiosa spent the whole movie plotting to kill Dr. Dementus, a strangely sentimental psychopath.  (Back story: Dr. Dementus received his doctorate from Delaware State University.)

When the movie ended, I switched on to CNN, which was breathlessly reporting that Joe Biden, an old white guy on oxygen, was being pushed out of the presidential race. Kamala Harris, CNN averred, remained fiercely loyal to Biden but was waiting in the wings to replace him to fight the epic election battle against Donald Trump, our present-day Dr. Dementus.

I'm embarrassed to confess that I got Furiosa and the CNN news coverage mixed up (head cold, jet lag, etc.). 

Then I realized that the CNN news coverage was really the trailer for the sequel to Furiosa. Kamala Harris is cast in the title role. Joe Biden will play the part of Immortan Joe. and Donald Trump signed on for the role of Dementus.

Furiosa has a host of minor players who will reappear in Furiosa II. Pete Buttigieg is cast as Bommyknocker Warboy, and Alejandro Mayorkas will play Pissboy and is already rehearsing.

Immortan Joe had a bad night.

Froma Harrop says the Biden economy is "amazingly strong." Are Americans too dumb to realize they're prospering?

 Froma Harrop, a second-string cheerleader for the mainstream media's Biden cheer squad, has been called out on the field to do a rah-rah-rah for Joe Biden's disastrous presidency.  

Biden's first-string cheerleaders--Paul Krugman, Nicholas Kristof, and Thomas Friedman--are exhausted and have stumbled back to the press corps's locker room, intellectually dehydrated. Step down from the presidency, Mr. Biden, they croak before lapsing into a deep political coma.

Not Froma! She's fresh as a daisy and cheerily chirps that Biden's America is "pretty great" and "doing fabulously well."

Harrop points out that the stock market is on a roll, and Americans are spending lavishly. Inflation is under control, she avers, and gasoline prices have come down. Harrop cites Jamie Dimond, JP Morgan's CEO, as saying the average consumer is much wealthier than before the pandemic.

But note the things Harrop did not talk about. Food prices have risen almost 20  percent since Biden took office, and American consumers are not mollified by Froma's observation that inflation is "a worldwide phenomenon."  

Harrop neglected to mention the shocking rise in the cost of housing, automobiles, homeowners insurance, and auto insurance. These rising costs--by themselves--are pushing millions of Americans out of the middle class.

Nor did Harrop think it necessary to mention that the United States is in a shooting war with Russia. It is true that Ukraine, America's proxy, is doing the fighting and dying, but America is buying the missiles, tanks, and ammo. And we are doing it with borrowed money. 

And then there's Israel's savage war in Gaza. The U.S. is providing Israel with the military assets it needs to fight Hamas, and where does that money come from?  No wonder the national debt has reached a catastrophic level.

Implicit in Harrop's Panglossian puff piece is the condescending notion that Americans are too stupid to realize they are prosperous and so delusional that more voters support Donald Trump than  Joe Biden to be our next president.

I look forward to Froma's spin on Biden's presidency after the donor class and the Deep State force Biden out of the presidential race. If she's smart, she will eventually follow the New York Times's lead and urge Biden to step down. 

And Froma is smart.

Joe Biden's presidency: Rah, rah, rah

Baby, Baby, Baby, We're Out of Time: Biden or Trump--We Are Toast

You're out of touch, my baby,

My poor, unfaithful baby,

I said, baby, baby, baby,

You're out of time

Out of Time

Rolling Stones (1966)

King Kong, a symbol of brute force and unpredictability (Donald Trump), and Godzilla, a representation of experience and stability (Joe Biden), engaged in a fierce battle on an Atlanta debate stage last Thursday night. CNN declared King Kong the victor, a decision echoed by the New York Times, potentially shifting public opinion.

Regrettably, both pugilistic debaters may have run out of time to sway American voters. Trump squandered a golden opportunity to present himself as a composed and thoughtful leader, while Biden failed to instill confidence in his mental acuity.

Concerning three major issues, America is also running out of time. First, we urgently need a national leader to guide us out of our proxy war with Russia, a task that cannot be delayed.

Second, we're running out of time to secure the nation's southern border. Biden doesn't want to do it, and Trump may be so tied up in litigation and political warfare that he might be unable to do what he repeatedly promises.

Third, our president, whoever that might be, must make a rigorous effort to get our national debt under control, or the U.S. dollar, which serves as the global standard for international trade, will lose its status as the world's reserve currency. But we may be out of time on that issue as well. Commitments to Medicare, Social Security, and national defense are so overwhelming that we may never be able to balance our nation's budget.

Trump or Biden? I'm at a loss. I'm even considering throwing my vote away and casting my ballot for RFK Jr. After all, it may not matter who wins the presidential election because, baby, baby, baby, we're out of time.

• America: Running Out Of Time

If the New York Times ain't happy, ain't nobody happy: The Gray Lady throws Joe Biden under trhe bus

 Perhaps you've heard that old Southern aphorism: "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

Today, I'm modifying this ancient pearl of wisdom to reflect on the odds against Joe Biden winning a second term as the leader of the Free World: If the New York Times, a powerful voice in American politics, ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. 

And the New York Times is not happy. Less than 24 hours after Biden's dismal debate performance against Donald Trump, the Times editorial board swiftly and decisively called for Biden to drop out as the Democratic Party's nominee for President.

New York Times columnists Thomas Friedman, Paul Krugman, and Nicholas Kristof--the Democratic Party's Pretorian Guard--joined the chorus, advising Biden to step away from the vehicle.

Nevertheless, some media voices are sticking with Joe despite the glaring signs that he suffers from dementia. The going-down-with-the-ship camp bases its misplaced loyalty on one of two arguments. 

First is the Howdy Doody crowd. These are the commentators who say that Trump is so odious that a diminished  Biden is preferable. These people would vote for Howdy Doody over Trump.

A second group is sticking with Biden based on race. One writer pointed out that Biden's leading critics are white men over sixty. And we all know we can't trust those guys.

Which group will prevail? My view is this: The New York Times has decreed that Biden must glide down the exit ramp. Eventually, all of Biden's supporters will fall in line.

Why didn't Howdy Doody run for president?